My best friend of 23 years looks like a model–5′ 9″, 130lbs, red hair, beautiful.  I do not.  This however, has honestly, never, never bothered me, especially when we would go out to bars and one guy after another would come up to her and say something [invariably] stupid.  The woman can eat.  I mean eat. She just has a fast metabolism or something, because she’s always been very slim regardless.   Sitting at lunch with my husband’s family–who knows my best friend well because when we were 16 she dated, and went to prom with, my husband (a story for another time), I was telling them I watched my best friend consume:

1. 1 Arby’s giant roast beef sandwich

2. 1 Arby’s regular roast beef sandwich

3. 1 LARGE order of curly fries

in about 10 minutes.  My sister-in-law then deadpanned:

“Yeah, we call women like that bitches”.